Saturday, June 9, 2012

catching my breath...again.

i have started working again for the summer season which is a very bittersweet time for me.  in order to keep up with bills and the like, i must work.  i have also taken more shifts this year than last to try and not fall so behind again.  with nahum enjoying a few extra classes and the entire family enjoying a meal out occasionally i decided to work a bit more.  in the area we live in finding a year round job is a bit challenging, especially one that fits in with a no daycare or other childcare schedule.  i do not want my kids to be shuttled out while i try and make ends meet at a job.  so, i wait tables at night and two mornings i bus (all during the times that rick can be home with the boys-oh except for two hours or so that they are with my mom and dad!).  it is a lovely restaurant owned by three awesome ladies that are friends now.  but still, i don't really like leaving my kids.  it makes me sad to not be with them for dinner and bedtime.  sundays i am gone all day not even seeing the littlest two awake at all.  i am hoping that as the years progress and the boys get older i can work a bit more and pay off some debts (blech) so that there may come a time when i don't have to be gone at all!  and it is great for rick and the boys to have some time without me.  they have picnics and projects and all day at home outside!  it is hard finding the balance between the shifting seasons and i often wish the summers away as i pine for the slowness of winter and no schedule.  my house is a little (a lot) extra dirty this time of year, the kitchen never quite put back the way i like it, laundry piles grow and topple and the dust bunnies grow larger than life.  i do the bare minimum so that i can still live here in relative peace but between working and spending time with the boys, the garden and putting food by...the time speeds past.  the photos i can remember to take, to pause and savor the moments, are dear to me.  they are a reminder that no matter what else to try and catch my breath and enjoy.
the very large turtle we saw on our first bike ride of the season!!
building a mini shelter on the bike ride
seriously?!  i asked asher to smile and this is the face i got this time!  love it!!
take two of  *smile*.
 the mini fort!
another *smile* from ashybee!
zev's new balance bike!!
watching big brother play baseball!
chilling in the dugout.
at bat.

1 comment:

  1. Love it, Pennie. Your fmaily is so lucky to have you. Just wrote a poem about a similar thing-pausing to look and take them in.