just getting out.

i admit that these three wild boys of mine have been giving me a time of it lately.  i am still struggling to find a rhythm that works for more than 5 minutes.  today we found a great one but i am sure it will be so very different tomorrow.  i really need to be outdoors everyday (as do my kids) but with the three of them i have found it so much more challenging i have to say.  it seemed easier last year when asher was just a baby.  now they are all mobile (and asher just started walking before the new year) and all needing me and i am well...just one.  i hate being frantic when out in public.  it makes me more frantic.

today a friend invited us to go ice skating (one of my favorite winter activities if i can't go downhill skiing) and i hesitated and gulped and said sure why not?!  i was very anxious about it and worried that we would all just start crying and i would then get stressed out and yell (which happens to much lately).  i brought my skates but told myself that i wouldn't go.  and i didn't.  we had a great time.

i got nahum on the ice while zevy was snoozing in the car (which i could see from the deserted rink-yeah homeschooling benefit!) and with asher on my back.  when zevy woke up i got him on the ice (for the first time ever!)  asher was still on my back but as i helped zevy and moved around he fell asleep so then i put him in the car in his seat and went back out to help zevy and nahum.  nahum mostly played and skated with his buddy and zev requested that i didn't help him.  i walked right in front of him and just relaxed!

i relaxed.  key words, i relaxed...i never do that anymore.  i am always so wound up...trying to keep all the boys happy and busy.  and my house semi clean and organized and food made and on and on. you know!  but anyway, yeah for a great part in a day (because there was still plenty of fighting!).  so my goal for right now is going to be just get out (of the house...all of us!).